Craftily Glorious

So this is a completely different kind of post.  I have some ideas for make-up ones but I need to gather more info before I can publish so, for now, you can enjoy this.

I'm making a hat.  A hat for a wedding.  I thought you might like to see the project.  You can totally steal my ideas if you like.  If you blog about though will you link to this?  Cheers.


The Inspiration:

These pictures are all from ebay.  The search was "cocktail hat".  The ones which look like they've come from someone who makes the hats themselves are credited.  Coz that's just polite.

All from ebay.  Black with net: Peacock and Lotus Designs, Pink Leopard: Emerald Angel, Black with feathers:  Hats and Fascinators UK, Silver teardrop: Jacqueline Walker Designs, Leopard and Red: Kalandra Jane Designs.
Brown one and Blue one: listings removed after I had saved images and before I decided to write this.

So what am I after?

Well, it's to go with a dark magenta dress and a cream or white jacket (haven't decided).  I had my eye on a couple of lovely 80s-style wider hats in lovely strong fuchsia but couldn't commit.  I do like to look like I've made an effort but that was a bit more of a statement than I was prepared to make.  So I'm scaling it down.  Pillbox-esque it is.  And no netting; I'm not the bride.

Now this is the problem.  "Pillbox" appears to be synonymous with "Stripper".  I have nothing but love for my sisters in tassles but I don't want to dress like one.  Also, when did modelling hats for websites take on such a saucy vibe?  See the top middle for an example: I love a bit of leopard but there's something so "obvious" about it.  Not for me.

So I searched teardrop, stewardess and cocktail and still 80% of my results were from Burlesque costumers.  And please, don't get me started on the itsy-bitsy top hats that I confess I thought were amazing in 2007.  2007 people.

I also tried the place I got this hat from:

They're called ZROX, they trade on ebay, and the page is here.  If you're after this beauty try this link.  Natch, I can't guarantee stock.  N'or could I find anything close to what I wanted.  

Incidentally, I think this is the closest my face has ever looked to a plasticine model.

Defeated?

So it seems I have no option.  I'm going to have to get crafty and try to make a hat.  Something like the blue one I already have looks fairly simple to achieve but I fancy something with more structure this time.  I could construct a base with card.  I could try proper milliners' techniques using moulds and such.  Or, I could go with the idea that struck me earlier when I was scanning the room looking for things of the same kind of shape I want.  I won't tell you what that was just yet!

And that's where I am.  I am going to a wedding, I want to make  a hat and I have some ideas.  Tomorrow I'll try to find the right fabrics.  Watch this space.

Come With Me, And We'll Be, in a World of...

Pssst....I'm going to tell you a secret.

One of the best kinds; it's a secret that's hiding in plain site.

There are outlet centres up and down our nation.  Some of these are owned by McArthur Glen.  Most of those are home to some of my favourite places on Earth.

Let's be honest with each other, ya?  It's often the best way to approach life.  So, outlet centres are a bit shit (yes, I've decided that my blog is going to be written in my gutter-mouth vernacular.  fyi, my vernacular also includes some long words and many metaphors.  deal with it.).  Ooh the excitement!!! There's a Ralph Lauren and a Jack Wills and...oh, there's a Cross selling out-of-date diaries and a big ol' M&S with bras in A cup or GG cup.   Ooh!!! I'm going to be a bargain-hunting Katniss Everdeen; I'll have that 70% off slinky dress in my size firmly in my hand before anyone else has even seen it and...oh, I am an Elma Fudd of bargain-hunting am I?  Well that's just fine.

But it's not all bad.  There are Starbucks and Molton Browns where you can get a little aromatherapy recovery (without buying anything) and there are those fancy kitchen shops which will reassure you that compared to some, you clearly get out the house a little more often.

So, that secret...?

THE COSMETICS COMPANY OUTLET STORE!

image: McArthur Glen

Go to one, then thank me.  Thank me with something pretty.

TCCOS is where relatives of Estee Lauder go to wait patiently to be picked up and taken home by appreciative strangers.  Only not in a Singles' Bar kind of way.  Estee Lauder, for the uninitiated of you, is not just that pretty gold counter you see in Debenhams.  Estee Lauder is a megalith of company and like any multinational worth its nasdac it's only getting bigger.  Brands to be found under the EL-brella-ella-ella include: MAC, Origins, Bobbi Brown, Clinique, Smashbox, Prescriptives, Ojon and EL itself.  So yes, you guessed it, TCCOS is the place to find bargains from those ranges and more.

Now, just as there are no 34Bs in the M&S and no size 12s in Coast, you are not going to find an NW20 in TCCOS (I found - and bought - a NC20 once and lived to regret it :( ).  For every black mascara on offer there will be 2 purple, 3 greens and all fifty shades of grey.  You get the idea.  So why so excited, Helen?  Why acting like this is some wonderful secret you're sharing with us?

Two words: LIMITED EDITIONS.
The various Estee Lauder brands launch LEs a few times a year.  They're strictly time-bonded any stock not sold in time gets packed up and brought...here.  And that's a LOT of stock.  The same applies to gift sets  and seasonal/promotional ranges, changes to formula or packaging or simply excess bits and bobs.  But it's not all randomites, you'll find staples here too - especially from Clinique and EL itself.

My last visit to a TCCOS was 3hrs long.  But I only spent £150 and at £50 an hour that's the cheapest therapy I know.  To help you get started here's what to look out for in my top three brands (and what to AVOID):

MAC

GRAB:
Brush Sets.  OMG, grab the brush sets.  When seasonal ranges are launched, a few brushes are boxed up, given different handles and put in pretty boxes/bags/stands (especially at Christmas).  THEN: January comes and no one wants a £40 brush set (even if the contents *are* worth £65).  Off to TCCOS and on sale they go for £28 - or thereabouts.
You don't need me to tell you that MAC is lauded for its brushes.

ALSO GRAB:
Pigment powders, Mascaras and Lipsticks.  Not all of these are going to be nice colours, but persevere.

WALK-ON-BY:
Big Bounce Eyeshadow.  I cannot tell you firmly enough to steer clear of these.  They were developed about five years ago and the formula is the missing link between powder and gel colour.  There's a reason that link is missing.

BOBBI BROWN:

GRAB:
Palettes.  Get all up in that.  Bobbi Brown is known for using colour well together and putting shadow, blush and lipstick all in one handbag-friendly palette with the kind of mirror that will show you EXACTLY what you look like (how very rude).

ALSO GRAB:
Just as the palettes pull complimentary bits together, the Bobbi Brown combo-sets create or complete "looks" brilliantly.  You'll usually get a pretty bag and a shadow, a liner, maybe a blush etc. As these are often launched for specific seasons (Christmas sparkle, Summer beach) and so are easy to find at TCCOS.  If there's a gel liner in there, buy it.  Bobbi Brown ain't the kinda brand to try floggin you some daft-arse colours none of us can wear.

WALK-ON-BY:
Err...pass.  BB is the brand that does good things well while giving "fashion" colours a wide berth, so you won't find any duds.  I guess I should tell you the brush sets are awesome too.  Oh, I've thought of one: If the store has the Bobbi Brown Beauty Book, then you can pass on that: you're pretty already.

OJON:

I found it hard to decide on my third brand.  I'm choosing OJON because you may not have heard of it.  If so, it's a haircare brand.  I don't write copy for them so if you want to read more then click here.

GRAB:
Any combo-sets.  These bundles of joy are put together for markets like QVC and they are absolutely a total bargain.  Usually £40+ stuff for about £18.  And the stuff is GOOOOD.  Even my whispy "I want to be straight but I don't want to be sleek; I want to be smooth but I'd like a little kink just when you're not expecting one" hair sorts its act out and becomes luscious and bountiful when I use Ojon.

ALSO GRAB:
If you're only going to get one product, get the Damage Restorative Spray.  I think it's one of the most expensive things they do but it really is like getting your stern but friendly neighbour to come over and sort out your other shitty, uncooperative neighbour who simply will not do as they're told.  (I was going to use "Cool Aunt" and "kid" but didn't wish to alienate my demograph).  Because your hair will just start to be all in agreement with you, and will actually do unexpected nice things.  And it will smell AMAZING.

WALK-ON-BY:
The Extreme Hold Hairspray (which is no longer appearing on the Ojon website but I assure you is in stock in TCCOS for at least a while longer) is another brilliant product which outperforms even MY high expectations.  So why walk on by?  Because the Umberto Giannini one is just as good and smells exactly the same, so I think is EXACTLY the same (they even have the same aerosol tops) for about 25% of the price.  It's all about paying attention.

Right.  Do you want to see what I got last time I went? What cost me £150?

Clockwise from noon:

• Bobbi Brown Antigua Palette.  The blush alone was worth it.  Hello Sexy Flush!  And I like that the eyeshadows are simple so you don't look too made up.  Bobbi Brown doing what she does.  Well. (£17.50 rrp: £47.50!!!)
• Smashbox Double Ended Eye Brightener.  An eyepencil which highlights browbone and inner corner with one end and lightens the waterline with the other.  (£11 rrP: £16)
• MAC Fluidline in Midnight Snack.  It's a kind of dark gunmetal with the tiniest of shimmers.  (£10 rrp: £14)
• MAC Opulash Volume Mascara in Black (Hallelujah!).  I loved it for its big, thick bristly brush; I am so sick of spindly plastic ones.  (£9 rrp: £14)
• MAC Fluidline in Added Goodness.  Brown, but DARRRRK Espresso Brown - like how when the mauveyness of the coffee is visible, but it's still definitely brown - with the same tiny shimmer (only more bronze) as Midnight Snack.  They're both from the same LE "Cook" range from Spring 2012* (£10 rrp: £14)
• Bobbi Brown Lip Color in Hollywood Red.  The photo does not do it justice.  Think of the most balanced scarlet you can.  Just enough blue, just enough orange, BANG ON THE MONEY RED.  Loved it.  Had to have it.  Is my search for the perfect red over?  (£12 rrp: £18).
• Bobbi Brown Sparkle Eyeshadows x2 in Velvet and Black Velvet.  Oh the shimmer.  Oh the darkness.  I wore these together the following week to a ball in Oxford and received many admiring comments.  I nearly didn't buy them.  They may be the most expensive eye shadows I own.  But I simply had to have them and I am SO glad I do.  (£13.50 each rrp: £20 each)
• MAC Kissable LipColor in Scandelicious.  What colour is this?  Fuchsia? Mauve? Pink? Red?  Who knows.  All I know is it is the exact shade and consistency of one I had as a teenager, although - like me - maybe a little brighter.  It's a "LipColor"; it's not a stick or a gloss or a creme; it is creamy, and it has a sheen but not really a gloss...oh whatevs, I liked it.  A lot.  (£11 rrp: £16.50)
• MAC Chenman Creme Brilliance.  A clear gloss, and one that you think is going to be sticky and gloopy because it's in a squeezy tube.  It's not.  It has a nice heavy feel as you apply but holds fast to your lips making them appear all juicy.  You can even smack your lips together and they won't stick!  I wasn't going to be easily swayed by this one; I don't tend to buy clear glosses (why would you?) but I applied this and wondered around the store getting more and more convinced.  Then I tried it over the BB Hollywood Red and was in love.  (£10 rrp: £14)

*yes, Spring 2012.  So they had already been in existence for around 8 months when I bought them.  This is absolutely fine; no one's been opening the jars and getting them all nasty.  I've checked and they don't actually have use-by time periods (so it's not use-by 06/2014 but use within 12 months of opening), and truth be known, I pay those signs no heed anyway.  If it smells odd, looks odd, goes on or comes off odd then it's probably time to ditch it.  But, y'know, this is the internet and people are loopy so I am hereby not telling you to use out of date products.  Or stay out after dark.

Not Pictured:

• Origins Sensory Therapy x3.  I'd tried this wonderstuff a couple of weeks before while wandering around HoF on Oxford Street.  It is truly amazing.  It's a minty soothing gel-lotion and you take one pump and rub it onto the back of your neck and it makes the world a significantly more tolerable place.  If it can have that effect on me in Oxford Street just think how zen it could make us in real life.  So TCCOS had a triple pack for £18. That's half price.  And I already knew it worked.  And this was in TCCOS where I forget stress can even exist.

So yeah, that was all I had to say this week.  In short: There is an outlet store called The Cosmetics Company (I added the OS; I'm gonna leave it there) where many Estee Lauder bargains are to be found.  Go have a look.

Ones I know of are in the following outlet centres:
York
Swindon
Bicester Village
Portsmouth
Ellesmere Port

There may be more but I'd check the website before heading off.

Oh, and do not be fooled by this one; it's not them.

Visions of Sugar-Plums

I've been resisting.  I am a professional writer and a beauty fanatic and yet, I have been resisting.  Resisting the call to tap away about make-up and perfume and lotion and potion in the hope that someone, somewhere might want to read what I had to say.  The internet is full of beauty bloggers and somehow I decided there simply wasn't room for one more.

Of course, this was a great disservice on my behalf.  I'm the go-to girl it seems so I figured it was time there was something here for those of you who wish, to come to.  I went to the local college on Saturday for a workshop on Bridal Make-Up (darling little sister has asked me to do hers next year) and was quite shocked to see trained make-up artists with less know-how and inferior kits.  So, time to join the big girls and dispense what I think about the pots of paint we cover our faces with.

For this first blog post, I'm taking inspiration from the wonderful Frankie Close who commented on a Facebook post I made about the Selfridges Beauty Advent Calendar.  I'm going to write about some of the different kits the big names have launched for Christmas 2012 and tell you why I've plumped for the golden wonder I have.

So if you've outgrown Christmas selection packs (you're no friend of mine if you have) then these might be what you're looking for to fill that gap.

Selfridges Beauty Advent Calendar:

image: selfridges.com

24 items (well, it's an advent calendar) from Lancome, YSL, Kiehls, Shu Uemura and some perfumes.
Love It/Want It: The Shu Uemura Cleansing Oil almost had me and the choice of Lancome lipstick (the beautiful 302) was very nearly a clincher.  Bonus Points for presentation: It actually comes with all the goodies behind little doors like an actual advent calendar (no chocolate though).
I'll Pass,Thanks: This advent calendar has gone up in price from £60 in 2010, £70 in 2011 to £82!!!! in 2012.  They've dropped the bonus full sizes and the trial sizes from brands who rarely do GWPs (YSL make up items beyond the dull dull dull kohl pencil) and instead it's full of the kind of things Lancome are forever (YSL pun gonna stay) giving away.  Seriously, how many mini Genifiques does one girl need? (With my skin, very few).

Make-Up Trivia:  Anyone know the French megacorp who owns all these brands?  So as much as this might look to the untrained painted lady like a selection of the best bits from the beauty hall it's not.  It's just one house dangling its goodies from the tree.

Selfridges, £82 and currently out of stock (which also makes me cross, I really understand why retailers/manufacturers make sure demand outstrips supply but for it to be gone before Halloween is just silly).

Estee Lauder The Make Up Artist Color Collection:

image: boots.com

14 items plus a pretty bag from Estee Lauder.  Mostly make-up, an EMR and 4 brushes.

Love It/Want It: Really nice colour selection which, as the palettes interchange and fit into the wallet, would make a brilliant starter or travel kit.  Add a foundation and concealer if you need one and you're done.  Also, excellent products in themselves; EL lipsticks are to die for and that Sumptuous Extreme Mascara works wonders.  Any kit that throws brushes in is always worth a look and EL brushes are pretty good (their amazing foundation brush is sadly not included here).

I'll Pass, Thanks: It's just not for me.  There's nothing in this kit I don't have close approximations of already.  I'm really drawn to the lipsticks but I think this is because they're those universal shades that everyone can wear and that I must have variations of already.  It's just neither statement n'or cult enough for me.  This is exactly the kind of thing I'd grab if I got to an airport and realised I hadn't packed any make-up but when I got home it would just join the rest of my kit and be overlooked for its dullness.

Make-Up Trivia:

The Estee Lauder company runs a series of outlet stores called The Cosmetic Company; look out for kits like this if you find yourself in one of the stores and you'll get a great bargain.

Boots (I think HoF/Debenhams etc. too but they're not advertising it yet) £50 when you buy an Estee Lauder fragrance from 29th October 2012.  (Set is valued at over £250)

Elizabeth Arden Day to Night Holiday Colour Collection:

image: boots.com

I'm getting bored.  I can't be bothered to count the items.  It's really similar to the EL one so I'll list the differences instead:
EL has 8 eyeshadows per palette, EA has 6 but EA has lip liners.

EL has 4 brushes, EA has 3 but loooook: there's a funky angled eyebrush which is far more interesting AND there's a mini brush with the shimmer thingy.

There's a trio of shimmer powder which I think is a compexion enhancer and I would use it as such.

The bag is far less glam than the EL one but seems far more practical.  This is the kit you could throw your other bits in with and chuck the lot in your case.

If I had to choose between the Estee Lauder and the Elizabeth Arden I'd probably choose this one, but that's more to do with the fact that Estee Lauder have released some brilliant fashion-forward (what a horrible term) recently under the direction of Tom Pecheux and their kit is a maiden aunt to that range.  Elizabeth Arden do basics very well and that's what you're getting here.

Boots and House of Fraser, £45 when you spend £30 on Elizabeth Arden ; Debenhams £45 with any two purchases.  (Set is valued at over £300)

Lancome The Ultimate Beauty Box:

image: houseoffraser.com

13 items and a glittery gold vanity box.  Make-up and skincare.

Love It/Want It: This is more like it!!!  Full-size BiFacil EMR (one of the most highly rated EMRs out there and rightly so) and generous travel sizes of cleanser, toner and moisturiser (all the right formulations for my skin at that).  Two mini mascaras, a mini kohl and two mini L'Absolu Rouge lipsticks in nudey pink and vampy red - not the gorgeous 302 from the Selfridges set but I can live with that.  Now, you ready for the best bit?  FULL-SIZE LIMITED EDITION EYE PALETTE in colours which are actually exciting and beautiful and a far far fling from the DULL palettes in the EL and EA.  Yes, it's browns and golds but such beautiful browns and golds.  There's a highlighter shade (even though it's dark) which is so close to the lauded Erika F you'd swear they just took those pigments and ramped them up.  Wanna hear some more about the palette?  It's the five-pan palette that's been available in The States (at $50) for a while now but not on these shores.  This is no selection of colours you could throw together and hope they work: this is coordinated base, highlight, shadow, crease and line.  This is how to make art on your face.  And it comes in a sparkly gold case to match the bag.  Sorry, you thought that was the best bit?  No. There's a full-size blush in Rose Sable and if you don't know why that's reason enough to hotfoot it to House of Fraser right this second you are reading the wrong blog and I'd like you to relegate yourself to Just Seventeen or whatever else exists these days.

I'll Pass, Thanks:  Yawn.  More Genefique and Visionnaire.  Dear Lancome, please stop trying to make me full in love with these wonder serums (or whatever they are) that you sell at £50 a bottle.  My skin is ace, thanks.  But hey, I've worked out that with all the freebies of these I've been given as GsWP I have two full-size bottles now.  I just have to remember which one is open so the others stay fresh.  Jeez, Helen: ungrateful much?  But, y'know, just saying...I'd have taken a mini perfume or lipliner in their place.

Undecided:  The box is lovely and gold and sparkly and reminds me of the case I used to carry my ballet shoes in as a kid, but it's kinda impractical.  This is my problem though; not everyone needs a tea-chest to carry their kit in.

House of Fraser, £45 when you spend £30 on Lancome.  (Set is valued at over £150 so maybe your ml-for-ml value is less than the others but it's far less likely to end up slung into a drawer and forgotten).

So, which one do you think I went for?  

a low quality webcam shot of my first look with the kit.

Think of the Children!!!

Almost 24hrs ago I was introduced, via Twitter, to a very shouty, angry racist travelling on the Croydon Tramlink.  A day later, my Facebook feed is full of links to the video, accompanied by gasps of shock and horror.  Some people have dared to dip a toe into the treacherous waters of race relations in today's Britain.  There are musings on her upbringing, her dependence on various drugs, and - from the particularly brave - a lament that this woman is perhaps hurting as she perceives freedoms and benefits of living in the UK slowly (not so slowly) being eroded.  Of course she is wrong to blame immigration for this...but she has to blame something.

"Yes it's a checked cap...something to say?"

What struck me most about the many comments I've read, from friends, from friends of friends, from absolute strangers on the YouTube posting, is the almost universal cry of how sorry we feel for her poor baby and how she "doesn't deserve to have a child".  This worries me far more than the original video.  This woman (whoever she is) has behaved abhorrently but who is anyone to decide who may and may not breed?

Yes, her son is being raised by a racist.  An angry, aggressive, foul-mouthed racist.  He is being taught hatred and, judging by how calm he seems to remains as his primary caregiver takes on an entire tram of strangers, abusive language and conduct doesn't phase him.  This is sad.  But we are all capable of rising out of our pen and for there to be (as one friend of friend has stated) "no hope for him" denies him that basic human right: to learn, to love and to live an enlightened life despite the best efforts of those we are born to.  


What upsets me the most?  The anti-chavism of the comments.  I hate it.  I hate the word.  I hate the attitude. That some of us are entitled to totally dismiss others because of their background, their values, (Heaven forbid) their accents.  Attached to this video and its numerous postings around the web are some vile vile sentiments that "we" could raise her child better.  Like it or not, this woman represents a part of our culture; and a micro-culture I am happy not to be a part of.  Denying someone the right to raise a child they bore purely because we don't like what they say amounts only to the eradication of those cultures.  Let's all pat ourselves on the back for being so educated, so liberal, so progressive...but let's never own up to wanting to to live in a country populated only by people like us.

Take a Step Back if you want to Leap Further.

I've pinched this picture from Cidne Wallace.  She's an artist who creates inspirational pieces like this.  You can buy her stuff at: http://www.artisanartsonline.com/servlet/Categories

Tomorrow I take a huge step backwards in the hope that it will get me back on track.  I return to EFL teaching at a Summer School in Sussex, a job I haven't done for over 4 years.  So what happened?  How did I come to stop SummerSchooling and why am I going back to it after what, in EFL terms, is a huge absence?

I've taught in Summer Schools since 2003.  I had spent six months in Athens teaching at a Frontisteria (private afternoon school) and was back in the UK preparing to start a PGCE.  Every year I went back, always a couple of weeks late because the state schools I taught in always broke up a little later than the boarding schools we took over.  I'd bring the kind of skills rarely honed in EFL teachers who generally work with adults or in environments where, to children, the teacher is King.  Summer School takes huge numbers of teens and pre-teens and mixes them all up together in an exciting and challenging environment far far away from their parents; it takes a certain kind of "classroom practitioner" to reign them in.  Discipline aside, I had a greater academic understanding of learning and although no better a teacher, I was able to explain a lot of the theory.  My final Summer School posting was in 2007 when I reached the dizzy heights of Director of Studies.  I loved it.

I had been able to perform that role because I could be available for the entirety of the Summer.  This was because I had turned my back on teaching here in UK secondary schools.  That's a story for another time maybe.  When the course ended, I went back to temping jobs until in April 2008 I began work as an e-learning consultant for a web 2.0 firm: another job I loved completely.  It did mean my Summers were no longer my own to do with as I pleased and since then, I've not been available to set up school in global villages buried deep in the English countryside.  A harsh compromise but one I figured it was time to make; we can't live our lives afraid to let go.

Yet tomorrow I return.  4 years since I last heard myself referred to as "Teacher 'Elen"; 4 years since I played tennis barefoot because flip flops just don't work on court; 4 years since I pulled on a branded polo shirt and marched a string of students along Whitehall; 4 years since I last had to emergency-cram the conditionals into my brain so I looked like I knew what I was talking about.  It's not been the smoothest road: 2 redundancies in 12 months and a couple of freelance opportunities which kept the wolves from the door but me firmly locked behind it.  There was an event which knocked me witless and made me more grateful than I can express for the opportunity to batten down here in my little flat and tap away on a keyboard in exchange for money and my independence but now, July 2011, I'm ripping those battens off my windows and stepping out into the sun.  It will be hard work and it will be exhausting but my word will it make me feel alive again.